Category Archives: Family and parenting

Honouring our children



I saw something today that has inspired me to draw our attention to how we cultivate a relationship with our children.

As I was driving to town, a good 20 minute drive, I noticed in the car behind me a young teenager and her Mum.  I imagine given the time of day, Mum was dropping her daughter off at high school.

We were stopped at traffic lights for a considerable time and I had the opportunity to watch their interaction.

I was disappointed…. Mum spent the entire time I was watching, talking on the phone and the young lady spent her time just looking out the window.

I remembered when I used to travel with my kids and we would, chat, laugh and sing …. They still remember it fondly …. And it was a great opportunity for me to show them how important it was to me to spend time conversing with them.

As time goes by the Mum I saw today may wonder why her daughter would rather be on the phone, than talking to her Mum. I won’t wonder… Obviously whoever was on the phone was more important than her daughter…. Even for those few valuable minutes.

Think carefully about how you create a good, lasting relationship with your kids.

Peace and harmony to all




Relationship Research – take this quick quiz

There are only 5 questions……

Outline: I talk to lots of people about relationships and everyone has a different idea of what their relationship should be like. I am conducting this research to see what the common elements are in a ‘great intimate relationship’.

Criteria: You must be over 18 years old and in a cohabitational intimate relationship

No personal data is collected, nor kept in the research.

Gender ………..

Age ……..

Length of relationship…….

Length of time living together ……….

What are the 4 most important things in your relationship…..
Please answer with a simple sentence for each of the 4 things.

You can respond using the reply button above, or email

Peace and harmony to all




Address the stress……..

Most of the time we get bogged down by stress… stuck in the stress!

A never ending merry go round of stress.

I like to encourage my clients to think outside the square… let me tell you a story.

I had a young lady who would come for Reiki on a regular basis.

I had noticed that she had been getting a bit more unsettled every time she would come see me, so I asked what was up.

She explained that she and her husband wanted to buy their first home, but because, they had a young child and she only worked part time, they couldn’t afford to get into the housing market.

It was causing lots of problems in their relationship, lots of sleepless nights and lots of stress.

I suggested that we white board some solutions……

…..outside the square…..

and we agreed to one possible alternative solution.

She went to see a financial advisor and see if they would be able to buy a small investment property first,

then in a few years use the equity in the investment property to help secure their long awaited family home.

Such a simple solution has given them, something exciting to work towards, and that particular stressor has been removed.

Peace and harmony to all

Lone Wolf

Disclaimer. This is not intended as financial advice

Please talk to your financial advisor with regard to any financial decisions.

Domestic Violence

I listened to a radio interview today about Domestic Violence. The host interviewed a women who is a perpetrator of domestic violence, and a man who is a victim of domestic violence.

I was touched by both their stories and it made me realise that we are not being true to the victims, perpetrators or ourselves in the current war against domestic violence. It has become a politically correct cardboard cutout issue – and therefore has lost its momentum and direction.

Domestic violence is not ONLY a crime against women and until we look at the whole issue, we will have no chance of addressing it appropriately.

Yes, I truly understand that physical violence against women is a serious issue. But let’s not forget that violence against anyone… Man, woman or child is a disgusting display of power and control, and is detrimental to the victims, and possibly future generations of those victims.

Domestic violence, is not just about physical violence!!

We are only just beginning to understand exactly how debilitating emotional abuse and violence can be, regardless of your age, or sex. When there is any violence in a domestic relationship it is going to mean that one person is more powerful than the other and this is not always because of size and strength. They don’t always use physical violence to gain and hold that power and control!

I know men, who live in fear, in a constant state of hyper vigilance in their homes. The welfare, safety and security of themselves and their children is threatened on a daily basis.
They can not leave…. Who will ensure the kids are safe?
They can not, or will not take the children away from their mother (for whatever reason).
They will not retaliate for fear of the consequences or threat of losing their children. So where do they go?
Who helps them? No one!!!

I know mothers who are petrified of their children. Where does she go for help?

These people live this nightmare, with the hope that one day it will get better… And apart from the short term effect on everyone in these situations, you will most likely see another generation of domestic violence perpetrators emerging. More often than not, someone who is intimidated, bullied or beaten in one relationship, has a tendency to become the intimidator, bully or perpetrator in another.

So – yes – let’s keep the focus on violence against women in all forms, but let’s ALSO protect our men and children too. Let’s start that debate and keep this issue REAL and alive.

Here is a link to the radio interview if you are interested

Peace and harmony to all

Unconditional Positive Regard…..

I like the sound of that!!

But what does it mean?

Unconditional positive regard is a concept developed by the humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers. It is the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what the person says or does.

When that person in traffic, or at work, or at home ‘grinds your gears’ it might be very helpful to cultivate a feeling of unconditional positive regard.  Taking this approach will allow you to stay removed from the behaviour of the person.  We often get caught up, emotionally, in what others do and this is a way out.

It isn’t easy, but with practise it will make your life less stressful.


Peace and harmony to all


Tips for living with lies

I have posted a couple of articles about the impact of people within our circle telling lies.

We know that we can’t change other people’s behaviour

We know that honesty and trust is important to us

Do we discard the friendship or relationship because of the lies?

Nearly 95% of people will say yes… But it might be your child that is telling you lies

So what do you do?

Here are a couple of little tips

  1. Ask yourself… Is there evil intent in the lie?
  2. Ask yourself …Does that lie threaten me, or harm me?
  3. If the answer to the above questions are “No”, then let the lie pass you by. Don’t give it any power.
  4. Last tip…. It has long been accepted that you ‘shouldn’t check up on others’.  However if you need to check up on someone who is lying to you, DON’T feel guilty.  As long as your intention is only for your own sense of safety and your own peace of mind.  Ask around, check if she is at the parent teacher meeting when she said she would be, or that your son really is having a sleepover at his mates.  DON’T let it become an obsession and DON’T use it as a power tool or control method over others. Just do it for your own peace of mind.  Over time, it will help you to answer the first two questions with clarity and make ‘living with a liar’ possible and peaceful for you.  Trust in yourself and it doesn’t matter about trust in others.

Peace and harmony to all



How is your relationship with your Mum?

What a huge bond to be broken! What a shock to realise that your mothers love was not unconditional?

Most our parents were a product of their own story and the majority of the time, the wounds that resulted from childhood were not intentional, however the damage is hard to spot, and non the less real.

Check out this article Unloved daughters and the dance of denial.

Peace and harmony to all


Not all Mothers are worth celebrating

Happy Mothers Day to the women in the world that love their children unconditionally xx

Please spare a moment for the children who grew up without a mother who loved them unconditionally.

Peace and harmony to all

Lone Wolf

Mother in laws


But seriously…. There is a battle ground that exists around mother in laws.

There are many reason why this might be the case, but trying to find plausible reasons, excuses and explanations doesnt really help.

I have had a number of clients lately who have verbalised a troublesome situation with mother in laws.

So how do we help them? Both the mother in laws and the people affected by them?

A support forum, would be a good place to start.

Most young brides for example believe they are the only ones with this issue.  I believe we need to share our stories and advice, with love, peace and harmony in our heart, so that these young people can find a win-win resolution to their issues …. And failing that, at least a way to cope with something that they can’t change.  Ultimately though, they will know that they are not alone.

Please share your stories here, anonymously if desired, to lend a helping hand to struggling young brides and grooms.

P.S BTW, I am a mother in law ????

Peace and harmony to all