I listened to a radio interview today about Domestic Violence. The host interviewed a women who is a perpetrator of domestic violence, and a man who is a victim of domestic violence.
I was touched by both their stories and it made me realise that we are not being true to the victims, perpetrators or ourselves in the current war against domestic violence. It has become a politically correct cardboard cutout issue – and therefore has lost its momentum and direction.
Domestic violence is not ONLY a crime against women and until we look at the whole issue, we will have no chance of addressing it appropriately.
Yes, I truly understand that physical violence against women is a serious issue. But let’s not forget that violence against anyone… Man, woman or child is a disgusting display of power and control, and is detrimental to the victims, and possibly future generations of those victims.
Domestic violence, is not just about physical violence!!
We are only just beginning to understand exactly how debilitating emotional abuse and violence can be, regardless of your age, or sex. When there is any violence in a domestic relationship it is going to mean that one person is more powerful than the other and this is not always because of size and strength. They don’t always use physical violence to gain and hold that power and control!
I know men, who live in fear, in a constant state of hyper vigilance in their homes. The welfare, safety and security of themselves and their children is threatened on a daily basis.
They can not leave…. Who will ensure the kids are safe?
They can not, or will not take the children away from their mother (for whatever reason).
They will not retaliate for fear of the consequences or threat of losing their children. So where do they go?
Who helps them? No one!!!
I know mothers who are petrified of their children. Where does she go for help?
These people live this nightmare, with the hope that one day it will get better… And apart from the short term effect on everyone in these situations, you will most likely see another generation of domestic violence perpetrators emerging. More often than not, someone who is intimidated, bullied or beaten in one relationship, has a tendency to become the intimidator, bully or perpetrator in another.
So – yes – let’s keep the focus on violence against women in all forms, but let’s ALSO protect our men and children too. Let’s start that debate and keep this issue REAL and alive.
Here is a link to the radio interview if you are interested
Peace and harmony to all