How do you react when you discover that a loved one has lied to you?
I was raised to believe that all lies are bad and the only reason someone would lie, would be for dishonest reasons…..
It makes me laugh that at 50 odd years old…. I am now learning to look at lies differently.
Whilst I have spent my life preaching that honesty is the most important thing in a relationship and that all lies are to hide something bad from you…. Iam remembering back and to my discomfit admit that I have lied to people very close to me. These lies where ‘lies by omission’, but none the less they were lies. They were lies to protect myself, but none the less they were lies.
So I had to decide, does that make me a bad person, or does my paradigm surrounding lies need to be re-evaluated???
Then I got it….. My lies were never with evil or dishonest intent!!!
Now I make that my new observation when I discover a lie. I ask myself ‘was it told with evil or dishonest’ intent?’
It may even be helpful to ask that question of the person who lied to you… It will help with your understanding and trust of them.
Lies don’t need to mean the destruction of trust, they can provide the platform to deepen trust.
Peace and harmony to all